Sunday, 23 June 2019

5 Weeks Preggo

How Far Along: 5 weeks

Baby Size: a cute little apple seed (but on an app I have, baby looks like a creepy little alien. Weeeird.)

Movement: Nahhh, baba's just a little apple seed!

Sleep: Sleep is good, I'm falling asleep pretty much straight away, but every morning around 3-4am, I wake up to pee so desperate I have stomach pains. It's so annoying, especially because I know that as I get more and more pregnant the more I'm going to be waking in the night to pee. 

Anything making you queasy or sick: Everythinggggg. Last week was the first week I found out I was pregnant and I had no sickness or anything, and it's just come on this week! Anything oily; pesto, peanuts, crisps, like anything that I used to love. I literally hate it because I'm so hungry but everything makes me want to gag.

Food Cravings: No cravings, but the only thing I can really stomach toast and marmite. Also trying to drink ginger tea as that's supposed to help nausea.

Symptoms: Lots of stomach cramps and the aforementioned nausea. Nothing more at the moment though!

Miss anything: Being able to eat anything without feeling ill, coffee and wine! I bought some decaf coffee pods for my machine because I miss my morning coffee so much! I know I can drink a little caffeine, but to be honest I don't want to risk anything and if I know baba is that little bit safer, then it's all worth it.

Happy or moody most of the time: A little emotional, but for the most part, just frustrated at the sicky feeling all the time.

Looking forward to:  Not have to hide things! At the moment, it's only our parents who know, and I can't wait to just have it all out in the open!

Best Moment This Week: Finding dairy free millionaire shortbread in the free from aisle in Sainsburys! WIN!!

Sunday, 16 June 2019

A Life Changer

I'm writing this on the 14th April, two weeks after we found out, and three months before I post this. This past two weeks have been a crazy blurr, but I'm going to try and recap the first week as much as I can. Here we gooooo...

Sunday 31st March 2019 - I went to a Wembley game with Jon and his side of the family. It was cold and it was good for the experience, but I probably wouldn’t go again.. I got so anxious and overwhelmed at the amount of people at the beginning that I literally sat in my seat and cried. I was fine after ten minutes but at the beginning I did not like it haha!

After the game we were so hungry we went for a pizza express and after 1/2 a starter (Jon and I shared) and a pizza to myself I looked around the table and everyone else was stuffed, yet I was so hungry I felt like I hadn’t eaten all day!! I mentioned it to Jon along with the fact that I was a week late on my period (but I’ve got pcos, so my period was never on time, so I don’t know why I mentioned it to be honest). I also laughed saying that hunger was a symptom I remember my mum having when she was pregnant with my youngest brother. And Jon grabbed the idea and ran with it. 

Monday 1st April 2019 - we’d gone to Birmingham after the game to surprise Jon’s mum because it was Mother’s Day and we had stayed over because it was my day off work. I still didn’t think much of anything until the drive home when Jon started talking about how I might be pregnant. I ended up feeling really bad because yes, three symptoms were there, but they were also the exact same symptoms of coming on your period (and I have pcos so I'm always late, and my period symptoms vary from week to week depending on how bad my pcos is that month). We needed to do shopping as we had been away for the week and I said to Jon “well, let’s get a test whilst we're at the shop - we might as well” and I genuinely wanted to do it because o felt bad that I had gotten Jon all excited when I knew I wasn’t pregnant. We got the test, came home and I peed on it. It came up with a cross and all I could say was “SH*T”. I really didn’t expect it and I was looking at Jon with disbelief, so I downed some water and we watched love island whilst I waited for that to go through me, all the while not being able to take anything I was watching in because HELLO I MIGHT BE PREGNANT!! We took the second test and the exact same result. We had to go to band practice that evening but I decided that maybe the tests were faulty (I know, but in my head that could have been a legit possibility!), we went and this time got a digital test. When we got home we took it and guess what?! Pregnant, but this time it said 2-3 weeks which means that I’m about 5 weeks pregnant. Whaaaat? Jon wanted to ring his parents and tell them the news straight away and I wanted to tell them in person but he FaceTimed them and they were really excited! 

Tuesday 2nd April 2019- I spent in pretty much of a daze at work. The whole time “I have a human growing inside of me” was going round my head. Wednesday we rang to book a midwife appointment and found out we couldn’t get anything till the 23rd April which I felt like was a long time to be in limbo! 

Thursday 4th April 2019 - after work I decided to go and tell my mum who had only been married 4 days, so we drove 2 hours and surprised her. She was in the middle of eating dinner so I called her and my stepdad into a room and then gave her a giftbag with the tests in it telling her that "I have a job for you and Geoff, the first one you'll have to take as Mr & Mrs". She looked up and said "Are you pregnant?!" Then she started jumping up and down and cry laughing and hugging me and Jon. Defo the reaction I thought I was going to get!! She's so happy to be a Nanna! 

And that was the end of the blur that was the week that changed my life!!

Sunday, 9 June 2019

Maid of Honour at my best friend's wedding!

I can tick this one off my bucket list! Wooooo!!

On the 31st March 2018, my Mum and her partner FINALLY got married, after being engaged for literally 4 years! Their story though is so inspiring and they've already been through so much together, so it was so special to witness them finally tie the knot!!

Favourite moments include:
  • Shouting up to my big brother to tell Mum that we were going to leave in 10 minutes and him saying she was still in her dressing gown - no make up, her hair still in a scruffy bun, everything!
  • Us all turning up 45 minutes late to the church! Ooooops!
  • Singing "You Raise Me Up" as she walked down the aisle. I couldn't watch it because I knew I was going to cry, and that would have ruined the song, so I sang it staring at the ceiling haha!
  • Doing the worship for them with Jon. Was so special to be able to do that with my husband.
  • The fact that the wedding breakfast was a 'bring-and-share' from all the wedding guests. It was so many dishes from so many cultures and it just showed how many loving people were there cheering the happy couple on. 
  • Drinking wine. 
  • The best man speech was done by my new step-dad's son, and literally there was not a dry eye in the house.
  • Geoff's groom speech where he got my 12 year old brother to stand up because he'd won a rugby game with his school team that week. It made me cry to just know that he was so proud of Isaac's accomplishments.
  • My big brother's speech where he spoke about how the wedding felt like two clans joining (11 'kids' between them, including the 2 spouses and 1 fiancé). 
  • Having a reggae singer for the wedding band, and not knowing many of the songs (except the classic Bob Marley ones), but trying to sing along to them anyway loudly with Elliot.
  • Playing a game of cards at the end with Elliot and Oscar.
  • Lots of dancing. 
  • Finishing off the night eating marmite toast and having deep chats in the kitchen with Elliot. 

Such a good day, and reminded me of just how much I love being round my family. They're just the greatest gift. 

Sunday, 2 June 2019

Mumma's Hen Do

It took so many months to organise, and I'll admit I did cry a few times because I wanted it to be so perfect, but last weekend we had a hen-do for my beautiful Mumma. 

Here's the lowdonw:

I got the train to Northampton early in the morning to meet Mumma. We chatted for a bit, I helped her pack (because she had no idea what to expect) I asked her if she had her passport (classic hen-do joke), to which she stared at me in confusion till I started laughing. And we went on our way. 

I can't drive, so I had to just put apple maps on my phone and direct her to where we were going (Oxford). She was getting more and more confused the more and more further we got from Northampton. We ended up arriving an hour late to the cafe we were supposed to meet the others (but they were late too, so all was good), and we sat down at a little vegan/organic deli in the middle of Oxford. We had a late lunch there, and then proceeded to the hotel. We arrived at the hotel, all checking into our rooms, and then went down to the spa. 

When we got to the spa, it was packed and I remember looking at one of the girls and making a face like "ummm, I was expecting it to be a lot more peaceful!" But Mum didn't seem to mind, and we ended up going in the sauna till we felt like we were going to pass out from the heat, and spending that much time hogging the jacuzzi that someone literally had to chuck us out because she had been waiting for so long! Ooopsie!!

We then all got ready for dinner, and we went down to the restaurant and ate dinner together but not without playing a 'true or false facts about the bride-to-be' game.

After we had a few more drinks (and I payed £30 for a bottle of prosecco. £30!!!!! Damn you Oxford and damn you contactless because I didn't realise till after I paid haha!

In the morning we all went and had breakfast and said goodbye to the girls, and then Mum and I went back to the deli we had been the day before (we loved it so much), and then went to the Ashmolean Museum and had a long look around.

And that was it! That was her hen weekend. It was chill and calm and we laughed a lot and I hope she enjoyed it as much as I wanted her too, because she's the best!!

Sunday, 24 February 2019

Ups and Downs.

This week has been a weird one. It had many ups and downs. 

Ups include:

  • I completed my first week of Couch to 5k, and I did 4 sessions without stopping! I'm trying to get into running because Jon and I are signing up to do tough mudder, and although I work out a lot, it's always strength training. Cardio normally feels like death to me and I hate it so much. I've tried to do couch to 5k 3 times in my lifetime, each time giving up. The longest I got was when I was 18 and me and my younger brother would get up at 6:30am and run. We got to about week 6 before giving up because I hated it so much. But this time I'm pacing myself and I'm actually enjoying it - and I'm forcing myself to get to week 9. I'll keep you updated!
  • Mother-in-law, father-in-law and brother-in-law coming to visit for an evening. Jon and I are homebirds and get very home-sick from time-to-time. Whilst we know for this season God has called us here, it's difficult to be away from the family we love so much, so it was lovely seeing them and playing boardgames and eating pizza.
  • The sun! As I'm writing this, it's 16°C in London which is right next to us, and I'm just loving it! SPRING IS COMINGGGGGG!
  • Getting better with my driving lessons. It's starting to feel a lot more natural driving, and I'm so proud of myself! We even spoke about maybe booking my test soon. EEeeeeekkk!
  • Working out with my sister-in-law and 2 step-sisters (SO weird after spending 19 years with 4 brothers and no sisters, to now have all these ladies in my life!) what we're going to do for my mum's hen-do!! There have been a few disagreements - but with family, what do you expect?! But we're thinking a chill spa day with lots of Prosecco - just how Mumma would like it!!
Downs include:
  • I thought I had so many, but as I started to write all the ups of the week, I started to forget all the down things I was going to write. Weird, eh?
  • I had what Jon calls my 'Monthly Breakdown'. I am someone who feels things deeply, and so when I'm happy, I'm ecstatic, but when I'm sad, I'm like super sad. And about once a month, I have a little anxiety induced breakdown which involves a lot of tears, and Jon having to talk me up from it. He's great. So I had one of them this week. Not great, but there you go. Life. This one was about feeling too much pressure from my new job. New jobs are always hard because not only is it always a lot to take in, but there's the added fact that you're the 'new girl' and so you feel like you have to make a good impression even though you don't really exactly know what you're doing. So there's that. 
  • Also, washing up. I'm waiting for Jon to do the washing up and he's taking agessss and it's taking over the kitchen side. Aaaaarghhh I just hate clutter.
All in all though, not a bad week. And we're going bowling later for a friends birthday, so I'm going to put on some lipstick and have a good time!

Sunday, 17 February 2019

The Little Things

Training for my new job meant that I had to commute into London for 3 weeks.. It was long and I hated the tube in rush hour, but there were some things I learnt from it. The following was something I wrote on my train home one night... 

 "This morning I was on the tube. It was about 8:50 and I was standing and squished against two different people and in desperate need of a wee. I was not really in a great mood and looking around at others, most keeping their heads down and looking a bit glum, no one else was either. Although we were on the London tube at rush hour so can you really blame us?! 

We got to a stop, and the doors slide open. People are pushing past to get off, and then people start to push the other way to allow people on. An older lady gets on. She's got curly hair brown hair, greying a little, and she's wearing big blush headphones. She has a big smile on her face. As the train pulled away she starts to bop and smiling along to the music playing on her phone, totally unaware of the rest of us squished in this carriage not having a great time. As I looked at her, I couldn’t help but smile along. 

She was such a breath of fresh air amongst a carriage full of solemn suit-wearers and I think we should all be a little more like that lady; making the most of the little things in life. 

 After all, isn’t that the secret to a happy life?!"

Sunday, 16 December 2018


This week is my last week working in retail. It's weird because it's been where I've spent most of my  life for the past 2 and a half years. Most of the time I would dread going into work, sometimes because I would spend days doing nothing and I being horrendously bored, sometimes because my legs ached, sometimes because I would have preferred to spend my day putting my time into other things, but mostly because I knew that this was not where I was going to spend the rest of my life. 

But, in spite of that, there are definitely things I'm going to miss. These include:

  • The creativity. Floor moves are literally my favourite and I could spend days doing it. I just love building outfits, whether that be on mannequins, or on individual rails. I love the puzzle of making sure every single style, colour and outfit has a place on the mat. 
  • I loved having my own brand that I had free reign over. A little section that was mine and I could love on. 
  • I love the people I work with. I love all the laughter - which there is always a lot.
  • I love setting up for sale. Siphoning through the different brands clutching a sheet full of different codes to try and find which items would be either sticker-ed or marked down. And then after spending most of the day doing that, hunting down all the relevant signage. 
  • I love the freedom of wearing whatever I want. A cosy jumper, jeans and trainers?! Hell yeah!
  • The variety of people, which was so vast. I could spend time chatting to the part-timers who are also doing their ALevels one minute, to chatting to people who are pensioner age, but still working to keep them busy, to Mums with big families, to single people in their 20's who house share. So many different people in all walks of life.
  • The occasional nice customers, who chat to you about their lives. Who ask for your opinion in the fitting room, and actually care what you say.
  • Being comfortable. I know everything about everything there is to know, and that is comfortable. I feel at home, and know where I am with everything.
I am going to miss it: especially the people, but I know it's time for that chapter to be over, and for me to embark on something new. I currently know nothing about what it's going to be like working for a bank, but I'm excited to learn and get stuck in. I'm excited for this next chapter, and whenever I stumble or experience doubt, I'm going to keep focused on God because I know this is what he's led me to.