Monday, 22 September 2014

Growing up!

Growing up I was always a bit of a scardey cat of anything to do with being out of my comfort zone. The way I dealt with it was shutting down and convincing myself that it wasn't what I had wanted to do anyway.  If I had to ever ask a stranger for anything whether that be directions, for more milk in my tea, or whatever, I would always ask whoever was with me to do it for me (hi5 Kel, you're the bestest bestie ever), and if they wouldn't or I was on my own, I just wouldn't do it. As I've grown up, the talking to people thing has gotten a lot better, but there's something that still scares the do-lalleys out of me....

Public transport.

With a friend, it's great. On my own? Nuh-ah. Not even from town back home. I'd rather walk for 2 hours than get a half hour bus. And that's just a bus. It's the panic of doing it by myself, depending on myself. And I'm a lot worse when it comes to trains than I am with buses, because you tend to go further around the country, meaning there's more that can go wrong, and if it does you're stuck by yourself, miles away from anyone who can help (Mumma!). 

But yesterday I was chucked, and I use this word because there's no way I would have done it voluntarily, out of my comfort zone and I've had to travel across the country ON MY OWN. WAAAAAH! It was a friend's wedding. 3 hours away, with a changeover in the middle, and I had to make my own way to the venue in this foreign city. I was so nervous I couldn't eat, or read my book properly. I just sat there staring into space for 2 and a half hours. 

When I was about 20 minutes away from the last stop, I decided to listen to music to try and calm my nerves, and Jimmy Needham's version of 'Great is thy faithfulness' came on. It made me realise that God is faithful. He was with me the whole way. I really felt like he was with me in this. And apart from the slight hitch when google maps made my phone crash after getting off the train. (Grrr) I did it. And during this, I realised that I, with God's help am capable to do scary things without the assistance of another human. I can do it.

I don't say this very much, but I am so proud of myself and what I overcame yesterday, considering I was on the phone to Jon crying about it on Wednesday because I was panicking so much!

I'm growing up! 

No comments:

Post a Comment