Friday, 30 January 2015

I failed my paper.


Dear diary,

Today is a happy day. I know by the title, you will be like "eh?!" and "but you failed" and "you're not very clever are ya?!"

But it is. It is a happy day, and I will tell you why...

It is a day where I have learnt I have grown. Last year, every time I got a grade I would feel so crappy. I would cry, and I would be ashamed and I would not tell anyone it, except my boyfriend when he persisted. All those questions above would go through my head. I would think I was stupid. I would think I was a loser. I would be ashamed. I would be angry at myself.

But today isn't one of those days. It is a day where I have learnt that my identity isn't in the grades I get, or how I clever I am perceived to be, it's in Jesus. Jesus is all I need, and if I fail all my papers, but I know I did my hardest, then that will be ok. It will be enough. 
"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.
I will delight in my weakness, because it means that I don't have to get it right all the time. I'm human. It doesn't mean I'm stupid, it just means I get stuff wrong. It doesn't mean I'm worthless, it just means I get stuff wrong. It doesn't mean I'm a failure, it just means I get stuff wrong. I will boast in Jesus, not in my abilities.

Remember this.

xx

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