Thursday, 7 July 2016

The Past Week

WARNING: This may be a very depressing post. It may go on for ages. It might also be very uplifting and short. I don't know, you'll just have to find out.

So.. My beautiful Nanna died yesterday. 

She had a stroke on Wednesday 29th June, which pretty much killed what was left of her brain (she already had had vascular dementia which is caused by a series of little strokes), and I went to visit her and my Granddad on Friday the 1st July. I stayed at the Nursing Home she was in for 5 days, and was by her side, along with my Mum and Granddad when she went to be with Jesus peacefully at 6:45 am on Wednesday 6th July.

There are a few things I always want to remember about this past week. It has been the hardest week of my life, but there were some funny moments too. It was the kind of send off my Nan would have loved. 


  • The way my Granddad kept trying to wake her up just broke my heart.
  • When one of the nurses came in to turn her over and said to her "I miss your singing Maria"
  • How we were told SO many times that she only had a few hours to live, and she kept going. And strongly at that. Classic Nanna.
  • How there was a beautiful dog named Crispin who was (I'm pretty sure) a red Japanese chin. Every time you went to stroke him, he'd lay on his back so you could stroke his front. He was such a patient, calm little thing.
  • When the funeral directors came (BEFORE the doctor had come to pronounce her dead, may I add), and they looked absolutely ridiculous. One was wearing flipping sunglasses, for goodness sake.
  • Grandad stroking her hair and holding her hand. He really loved her. 
  • Reading through Nan's notes that the nursing home staff had taken, of the points where it said she sang very loudly, or when it said that she liked to be facing Granddad, and when they tried to turn her she would shout at them.
  • The fact that Mum and I didn't shower for literally a week because we didn't want to leave the room in case Nan went. 
  • We drank SO MUCH TEA. Like I literally went for a wee like 15 times in a day. NOT even exaggerating.
  • After she died, Mum and I went shopping and I picked out the brightest top I could find. Nan would have loved it. 
  • Laughing hysterically at the thought of Nan flying past my Auntie's window after her passing
  • Every time the nurses came to give Nan mouth care (to keep the mouth wet because she wasn't having any liquids), she would bite down on the glycerin swab sticks
  • A really lovely nurse called Josie, who was Filipino and she kept coming in, telling us stories of Nan, and asking if we wanted any food. 
  • A lovely nurse called Desi, who almost made my Granddad cry when she gave him a hug after Nan had gone. 
  • All the nurses at the home really. They were so lovely, they loved my Nanna and I know she was SO well looked after in the last few years of her life.
  • Grandad playing Fanny Crosby hymns, Johnny Cash and Darlene Zschech SUPER loudly because his hearing isn't the best.
  • Mum and I taking it in shifts to watch over Nan at night so Granddad wouldn't be worried and could sleep through the night. 
  • When I was watching over Nan at 4am and I was SO tired from literally having about 12 hours sleep over the four days combined, and I prayed out to God, and said "God I can't do this anymore!" and he said "this too shall pass" and I said, "but when?!" and he said "Wednesday". She died Wednesday morning at 6:30.
  • My favourite moment, however, was when I felt like God was telling me to sing after we had thought that she was going to die and I didn't want to. He kept telling me again and again, and I sang one of Nan's favourites, and Mum and Grandad joined in, and we were crying and singing all around Nan. She would have loved it.

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