Monday, 17 July 2017

Why I Started Blogging

Last year, in her early nineties, my Nan passed away. She had suffered with vascular dementia for the last ten years of her life but it had only been diagnosed for the last 4 years.

She was a lady with a huge sense of humour, she loved life and would constantly sing. She never took anything seriously and she would sometimes get into fits of laughter and no one could understand what she was saying - or so I hear.

The thing is, I never really knew her.

All I know of her is from when she was ill. All I can remember of her was when she would ask me the same question repeatedly. All I can remember is when she would say weird things. All I can remember is when she couldn't differentiate between her grandsons and it would upset her.

I remember so profoundly the few times her dementia would subside and Mum would say "I saw a glimpse of her, then." But they were so few and far between, and they would only last for 5 minutes.

So when she went to heaven last year, I didn't mourn her. I cried, a lot, but I didn't mourn her.

I didn't mourn her because I knew her really. Not the way she really was.

The day after she passed away, my Granddad got out a letter that she had written to him when they were just dating. It just talked of how she missed the bus, and how she was planning on going to the post office the next day, but I cried and cried and cried knowing that she wrote this letter because it reminded me of the fact that she used to be someone who was did normal things and I never knew that person.

It was her but before I had ever known her and that, to me, was so special.

So in short, that is why I wanted to write this blog. Maybe I'll have kids one day, and maybe they'll have kids. And maybe they can read up on bits of my life and it can be special to them.

And that is why I love this little blog which talks about silly conversations I've had and the things I'm loving at the moment, and the way I'm feeling at the moment.

They're little pieces of my normal life that won't be here for long!

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